Actions speak louder than words

I wanted to write a post that could help people understand. Help people who want to help the ones they care about or love but don’t know how to. The one thing that these two types of people have in common is they both feel helpless. The one who is suffering feels helpless to describe how they are feeling. The person who is trying to help feels helpless because they just don’t understand what the other person is going through. I feel if I can explain my personal story than others will be able to relate, and the ones who don’t know how to help might feel more at ease of how to connect with the person more.

What I’m referring to is affecting 18% of the population, which is about 40 million adults. What i’m about to share is not easy to share, nor is it taken seriously by everyone. This is a mental illness-Anxiety. Now if you go and google anxiety it will lead you to depression, and other disorders associated with anxiety. Someone who suffers from anxiety does not suffer from all of those other disorders. Don’t get me wrong they can, but everyone is different because they all have a different story of how they have gained this illness, and how they deal with it. I personally do not associate it as an illness.

Anxiety does not make everyone awkward:

For myself, I’m an extrovert. I am very outgoing, and love being social. You can put me in a room full of people at a party and I would make a whole bunch of new friends. Just because you have anxiety doesn’t make you socially awkward. There might be times that you are in a middle of a really big crowd like a concert, and you start to feel anxious and feel the need to remove yourself from the situation for a little bit.

For myself, when I start to feel anxious in a big crowd I feel dizzy, I can’t breathe, and I need to sit down. Only on occasion may that might happen. The best thing for me is to just walk away or just be quiet. Don’t think something is wrong or I’m not enjoying myself. I am still having the time of my life, and i’m enjoying the atmosphere, but sometimes it becomes too much. So when this happens, don’t ask me what’s wrong, don’t take it personally if I walk away from you, just accept that it is best for me to do. You don’t have to leave the person if they walk away, most times they feel better just having someone by their side and not needing to say anything. So just sit there as support, and that will mean more to them than you trying to figure out what’s the right thing to say.

Your biggest enemy is your own self:

You get frustrated with yourself because you don’t understand why you are worrying so much. I am the most optimistic person when it comes to everything. I always see the positive out of anything negative. I want to help others with their problems before I help myself. I never get angry, and I know how to deal with stress. The one thing I cannot control mentally is my worrying. Someone with anxiety worries ten times more than someone without it. The type of things that people with anxiety worry about are all completely different.  What I personally worry about is my health, the future, and my experiences from the past into the present that have started this whole cause for me. Worrying personally I think is one of the worst causes in relation to anxiety.  When I’m worrying it makes me feel anxious, I feel shaky, I can barely breathe, and I’m trying to avoid a panic attack. The best thing you can do is be that balance for that person. Let them know that it will be okay and everything will work out. Even though we might know that, sometimes we mentally can’t control our worrying even though we know it will be okay in the end.

The worst thing for us to overcome:

The one thing that I hate to do, and most people might agree with anxiety is talking about how we feel. I tend to keep all of my emotions in and not let anyone know how I’m feeling. I can on the outside look like the happiest person in the world and act happy, but inside i’m the complete opposite. I don’t like to talk to people about how I feel because it makes me feel more anxious, and all of my emotions and worries that I have kept in for years is the last thing I want to let out to someone in one conversation. Don’t get frustrated at us if we don’t want to talk to you about something serious, or let you know how we are feeling. We are people with many layers. It takes me a long time to let my guard down because I feel people will judge. Some people with anxiety might not show affection as much, or be as verbal to serious conversations, but that doesn’t mean we won’t wanna talk eventually. We just have layers, so it takes us longer to open up, and it takes us longer to trust someone to hear how we feel. Be patient with us, and let us open up when we feel it’s the right time to do so. We feel that you don’t understand why we take longer to share something with you, so we avoid hard conversations all together. The more understandable you are, the less questions you ask us, and the more you open up and wait for us to, we will feel more comfortable to be more vulnerable with you. That doesn’t mean when we get frustrated with you or seem aggravated we are annoyed by you. We love you as much as you love us, but we might not how to show it like you do.

Life is hard:

Life is hard for everyone, and we realize we aren’t the only ones with problems. The difference is we might not know how to physically or mentally deal with it. The more you understand us and the more you accept that you will never feel the way we do, the easier it will be for you to connect and understand more.

To sum it up for myself:

What I experience in life no one will ever understand and I will never want to talk about it. I might tell you most of my story, but never the whole thing. Because that’s not who I am, I have not understood yet how to open up with one person because no one has shown me they understand or is willing to just keep it between us. I cry sometimes for no reason, I sometimes would rather be by myself than with others, and I won’t tell you how I’m truly feeling. Overall I am the happiest person, but thankful understanding person I can be. Confusing right? Anxiety is something that you can try your hardest to explain to someone, but they really won’t understand because they aren’t experiencing it. If you can understand us then that’s all that matters. If you can love and accept that person for who they are, then that’s it, simple as that.

The reason not to judge someone until you know them, because you never know what they have been through, what they are going through, and why they act the way they act.

Learn to accept, accept to love, and love everyone because then life would be a better place to live.

 

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